2: Anytime I Clear My Head
by purplewinx
Summary: Taren becomes haunted by a something she did that happened a year ago. JT Tires to help Taren,but she won't tell him what's wrong. Emma discovers Jack is a new student.
1. Chapter 1

A few notes from the author

- Ok, when I got a review from Flame31telling me not to drift off into the Mary Sue realm, I had no clue whatsoever as to what they meant by "Mary Sue"(I was seriously sitting here like,"WTF...?...there's nobody in my story named Mary Sue...") But I googled it,and now know what it means. And yes, I realize that I have been making Taren seem perfect. But do not worry, she's not.She's far from it,and I intend to bring out her flaws in this episode,as a matter of fact.

- Thank you to everyone who did review. I really appreciate it.

-I love the show Degrassi, but I rarely get to watch it.So if anything is out of character, then please let me know. I want my characters to keep their regular personalities.

-If you have any suggestions, please let me know. I'll really appreciate it. Thanx!

-ALL FLASHBACKS ARE SEEN THROUGH HER EYES,AS IF SHE'S LIVING THROUGH IT AGAIN.

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or the show of Degrassi.

Oh,and one final thing:This story takes place directly after West End Girls.(the episode where Manny and Paige go into full on battle,and Paige breaks her leg, and rips Manny's dress at the prom and it falls off,and all the other terrible things.)And just so you know,for my story, JT and Liberty had been dating, but broke it off in the tenth grade. JT,Emma,Manny,Taren,etc. are in 11th grade now. I hope nobody's confused.

OK...now that all of that is out of the way...LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!

* * *

Emma sighed as she stared out the classroom window. It was strange. Here she was, falling for a total stranger. There was something about it. Maybe it was his name: Jack. Such a sexy name. Maybe it was how cute he was. Or how he had saved her. Or maybe it was because he wore a black leather jacket. It gave him a good look.It was ery sexy. She sighed. She knew she should probably stay away. Her last boyfriend, Sean, had always worn a black leather jacket.And look where it got her. She knew she should just forget about Jack. But there was something about the bad boys... 

ooooooooo

Taren sat impatiently on a bench in the mall. Paige had told her to meet her there. An hour ago. The sound of a loud laugh turned her head.Indeed,there was the blonde, walking through the doors. She saw Taren,smiled, and walked up to her. A girl with brown skind a little darker than Taren's stood next to her. She wore her dark hair in a ponytail. She smiled.

"Hey, you're here." Paige said casually, as if she hadn't realized she was an hour late. Taren forced a smile.

"Yeah, I'm here."

"Well, this is Hazel. Hazel, Taren."

Hazel smiled warmly. At least _she_ seemed genuine enough to care.

"How long have you been here.?" she asked. Taren sighed,"An hour."

Hazel winced. "Sorry. Paige here is always late. For everything. She was late for her own party once." Taren had to laugh.Paige smirked," Yeah, well I was high, ok?"

Taren blinked. She hadn't expected that one. Paige noticed the look of worry and shrugged."Don't worry,I'm not a druggie. It's an every-so-often kind of thing."

If I had a penny for everytime I heard _that_" she laughed. Hazel raised an eyebrow curiously.Taren's laugh had been on of bitterness,not pain.Paige hadn't noticed.She flipped her hair.

"I mean it. The last time I used the stuff was two weeks ago."she giggled.

Taren sighed."Paige, trust me.Don't use it.Somebody could get _hurt._" Her tone was slightly angry.Paige and Hazel stopped and stared at her.

Taren didn't notice.She kept on walking,not even aware of her surroundings anymore...

_Taren left the house in which a wild all night party had been in process.She climbed into her car,and fastened her seatbelt. Her best friend,Amber, sat next to her. They both laughed hysterically before Amber passed out in her seat. Taren laughed harder as a light headed feeling entered her body.She blacked out,but instantly woke up again.She sat there laughing for five more minutes. Amber woke up. _

_"Are you ready?" Taren asked, giggling. She started the car, and pulled out of the parking lot. Amber squealed in delight._

_"YEAH!" she yelled. They pulled out of the driveway, and started down the street..._

"TAREN, LOOK OUT!"

Taren snapped out of it just in time to feel herself collide with a huge pile of books. She gasped and screamed as they all came tumbling down on her. The security guard came running,along with the owners of the display.Hazel and Paige followed suit. They arrived just in time to see Taren being helped out of the monstrous pile of books.

"You're lucky you weren't hurt."the security guard was saying.

"Oh my gosh, are you alright?" Paige asked. Taren simply nodded. Hazel said nothing, but studied Taren intently.Her eyes were blank. She looked exhausted. Paige went on."Didn't you see that giant pile of books?How did you manage to walk into it?" she ran a hand through her blonde hair.

"I don't know." she said.A strange expression crossed her face, but disappeared instantly.Hazel thought she hadn't actually seen it,but she knew she had.She shivered. The looked that had crossed Taren's face was a dark one. Her eyes had turned dark and blank.Her face, emotionless, almost...dead...

Hazel shook the thought,and finally spoke."Are you ok? You look kind of sad."

Taren sat there blankly for a slight moment, the brightened. Her eyes were twinkling once again, and a smile was on her face."Hey, I'm fine. Don't worry, it was just one of my 'moments' " she laughed. Paige sighed in relief.

Hazel smiled, but still studied Taren.Something was wrong. She knew it.

The security guard helped Taren to her feet._How did this happen?_ she thought.

"Thanks she said."

"Now, are you sure you're alright?" the security guard asked.

"Yes,I'm alright,sir."Taren spoke. Satisfied that nobody was hurt, the security guard left to walk to the food court.

She started to walk away with Paige and Hazel.

"Not so fast!" a voice said.

The three turned around to see a very upset looking woman. She was clearly the owner of the book display. "Now, I put hard work and many hours into that display.And it's very unfortunate that you collided with it.I'm glad you're ok, but somebody has to put this display back up.Who do you think that should be?"

"I don't know...maybe and _emloyee?_" Taren said, slightly annoyed.

Hazel looked worried.Taren was irritable now.And judging from how she responded to the saleswomen compared to her usaual merriment, they'd all be in trouble in a metter of minutes.But then, Taren had almost been hurt, so maybe they'd all be off the hook.

"I was thinking more along the lines of _you._" the woman spoke in the same tone.

"But I almost got hurt because of your display!"

"Your carelessness is of no concern of mine." she said.She picked up five of the 100 books.

Taren smirked.Paige and Hazel quickly realized what was going to happen.The woman had just set herself up.

"So I see you're picking up the books after all." Paige grinned. They all turned and ran as fast as they could.

"Hey! Come back here! Security!" she cried.

Hazel laughed."What's security going to do? They can't nab us for refusing to pick up books." Paige and Taren simply laughed as they reached the exit. They stopped running and walked across the parking lot.

"I can't believe we left without entering one store." Paige laughed.

"Yes, thanks to me,"Taren grinned.

"Ms. Stuntwoman."Hazel giggled. Hazeland Paige climbed into a blue car.Taren stopped. She stared at the car.

"Are you coming?" Hazel asked,still grinning.Taren shook her head."No,it's ok.I walked."

Paige cut in,"Well, I can give you a lift--"

"NO!" Paige and Hazel looked taken aback by her response.She cleared her throat,"Uh..no,it's ok. I-I need the excercise." chuckled. Hazel stared at Taren again.Something wasn't right. The thought was now occuring in Paige's mind too. She nodded slowly,staring at Taren.Her eyes were narrowed only slightly as she nodded. She finally stopped nodding and spoke."Ok...suit yourself." She put on a cheery face again."Hey, see you at school tommorow." Taren smiled again."Ok."

"See ya,"Hazel said softly.

Taren waved as they pulled out of the parking space, and drove away. She turned and headed for the sidewalk. She sighed as she walked, sinking slowly back into thoughts.

_Taren drove the car along the road, and turned into the park. A scenic route would be nice.And at the other side of the park, there was bridge that you could drive across or stand on to stare at the waterfall. She drove, swerving slightly though the park. She was glad that nobody was around to see. The park never had many people in it on Mondays. They giggled hysterically. Amber banged her hand on the dashboard, then brought it up to her face._

_"Hey, look!" she said,"I broke a nail!" There was a moment of quiet,then Taren snorted and started laughing.Amber was on the verge of not breathing from laughing so hard. Taren blacked out and her head fell onto the steering whell,the horn letting out a long single blare. Tires screeched. . ._

Taren snapped out of it, realizing the tire screeches weren't a dream,but real. She was in the middle of the street. She gasped and leaped back onto the sidewalk.The man in the car started yelling at her as it started up again and continued down the road. She stared after it, dazed. She sighed and shook her head, then continued home. Once on the other side of the street, and safely away from the road, she pulled out her cell phone and dialed a number. The phone rang.It rang five times before she heard a voice.

"Hey, you've reached JT. I'm not here,but...please...leave a message. I will be greatly touched."he spoke with mock sappiness.Taren smiled as the recording continued."Anyway, when it beeps, you know what to do." BEEP.

Taren sighed."JT? It's me.Taren. I need to talk to you. Please call me back,ASAP. I need help."she sighed,mentally deciding if she should say what she wanted to say next or not.She ran a hand through her hair, and said it."Something is happening..something bad."


	2. Chapter 2

I finished chapter 1 a few hours ago,but I'm bored,so I'm starting chapter 2 now.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of Degrassi, or the show.(Trust me, I don't.If I did,the show would probably be pretty boring.I mean,who would've thought of some of the stuff that happens? NOT ME!lol...anyway...)

Emma sighed. She walked through the empty halls of Degrassi,about to leave. She glanced in the office. The principal was still there, looking through a pile of papers.She patted the pile,and stood up.Somebody was next to her.They shook hands.Emma looked again.

"Jack?" she gasped. The boy looked up.It was Jack. He waved with a smile.

"Emma!Hi!" he wasn't wearing his black jacket today.He was wearing a black t-shirt with a white long-sleeved shirt underneath it, and jeans. The principal smiled.

"Ah. I see you know each other?"

"Just by name."Jack stated.

"And by life." Emma said under her breath.But clearly the principal and Jack heard her.The principal looked at her curiously.

"Care to clarify?" she said. Jack moved his hands across his neck, trying to tell her to hush.He shook his head,mouthing the words,"No, don't. No."

Emma ignored him."Jack saved my life."

Immediately,Jack cut in."Well,"he laughed nervously,"I wouldn't say _that._" He continued to laugh nervously as he said,"I - I mean, I wouldn't say, you know... _life_...per say...heh, you know..."

Emma stared at him, then continued."There was this man harassing me,and he punched him out."

"My,that certainly was a very brave thing to do, Jack." she smiled.

Jack sighed,as if with relief. "Well, uh...thank you, I-"

"Not to mention stupid."

"Huh?"

Emma stared at her.Did she want her to die or something?"How was it stupid to save my life?"

"Oh,no no no,dear,it wasn't stupid of Jack to save you, but it was stupid of him to do so without at least calling for help.I mean,what Jack hadn't been able to punch that man?What if he had gotten punched, but not knocked out? Then we'd have two deaths, or rapes, or anything on our hands.Which would mean utter chaos for our community."

Emma shrugged._Whatever._

The principal turned to Jack." Tommorow,come back to my office,and we'll get one of the students to be your guide for a few days."

"I can do it,"Emma cut in,"I'll be his guide."

"Well, that'sa nice offer. Jack, how about it?"

He smiled and nodded,"Sure, Idon't see why not.

_YES! _she thought.She smiled,"Great.Then, I'll see you later."

"Later?"

"Yeah. If I'm going to be your guide, then I think we should get to know each other."

Jack shook his head,"No,today's no good. I'm..busy."

Emma sighed,but forced another smile,"Ok, then I'll just see you tommorow."

He nooded. Emma sighed as they left the building. "See you later," she called after him,but he hadn't heard her.

oooooooooooo

"Ok,so what's wrong?" JT asked. He was sitting on her bed.She paced back and forth quickly in front of him.

"JT...things keep happening. I- I'll be completely fine one moment, then, I'll be completely depressed!I keep thinking about this thing...it was terrible!I- I -I can't believe --" she cut herself off,and looked at him. His eyes were full of worry.

"Well,what is it that was so terrible?"

"I- it was a year ago...I...there was a party, and --"

"Oh my God, bun in the oven!"

Taren turned and glared at him."JT, I am not pregnant!I said it happened a year ago,which means I would've had the baby. Besides, I've never had sex before."

"Well _that_ was something I needed to know."

"JT!"

"Ok, ok, sorry.It's just that...how can I help you if I don't know what happened?"

Taren stared at him._Should I? I can trust him. But I don't know that. I've only known him for a week. But he's JT! But he may not be trustworthy.But you can trust him.Just do it!_ She sighed. After long debate,she sat down next to him,and stared straight into his eyes.

"JT..."

He stared back at her. Whatever she said next was bound to be bad.

"Last year, I..." she trailed off. She really liked him. Did she really want to ruin a friendship so soon? Did she really want to have to relive the pain again, outside of her mind?Hear the people whispering about her as if she wasn't there? She shook her head.

"I...?"JT encouraged.

"I..."she couldn't do it.But the images were running through her head so clear.The sounds so fresh she could swear it was happening agin."I...I...I... want you...to get out."

"What?" JT looked at her puzzled.

"I-I want you to get out."she spoke again. Her face was expressionless.

"But how am I supposed to--"

"Get out."her voice was expressionless too.

"No! I'm not going to--"

"GET...OUT!" she yelled.

"But-"

She stood up."GET OUT! NOW!"  
JT stood too. He looked her directly in the eyes,then walked towards her bedroom door.He opened it, then turned to speak again.

"I thought you wanted me to help you."

Taren glared at him. "Get out."

"Taren, I--" he stopped himself. it wasn't even worth it. He threw his hands up in the air, and left with an exhasperated sigh. She heard him go down the stairs,and a little while later,the front door open and shut. After another moment,she heard a car start. She looked out her window and saw JT's car pull out of her driveway and start down the road.

She sighed.She had just ruined another friendship. One of many that she had ruined. She knew he probably hated her now,along with everyone back in Michigan. She flopped onto her bed, her face buried in the pillow, and shut her eyes. She tried hard to forget the memories. But everything was weighing her down. The voices of those who hated her most.

_Coward..._

_Careless..._

_Irresponsible..._

She sat there, the names echoing through her head as she drifted off to sleep.

_She was trapped in a small room, the size of an elevator. It was dead quiet. She opened her mouth to scream for help. She banged against all the walls, and the floor. Nothing would give to let her out. She looked down. There was an inch of water in the room.She gasped and banged on the walls screaming._

_"Help!Please!" her voice echoed into nothingness. She looked down again.The water was at her knees. She banged on the walls some more._

_"Somebody!" _

_she heard a thumping sound coming from the other side of the wall. She backed up. Someone was trying to get in, to save her. The wall opened, and a heavy torrent of water spilled in. Taren screamed, but was cut off by the water sweeping her under.Just like that,the water was calm.But the wall that had let in the water was shut again.She swam towards the ceiling, but realized that the water had filled the whole room. She banged furiously against the walls. Her lungs were running out of air. She'd have to breathe soon. She had nowhere to go. Voices filled her head._

_"Where are you going, Coward?" _

_Her lungs started burning. She needed air.Now._

_"How could you be so irresponsible?"_

_She gasped, swallowing water, and started choking. She felt a grip on her shoulders pull her,and she saw the room slowly disappearing. She was now on the floor of a dimly lit room. She looked around to thank whoever had saved her.Nobody was there. She walked to the corner, where there was another light. The voices kept echoing._

_"You're such a coward. A nobody. You don't deserve to live."_

_She saw something white under the light. A body bag. The ones ambulancesused to hold people after they died. She slowly unzipped it, expecting to see herself. The person was a girl. They were soaking wet, and their blonde hair was dark with the water, clinging to her face and neck and forehead. She was very pale, almost white. It was obvious she had died only a few moments ago. The voice was still speaking in her head as she recognized the girl: Ashley. The voice spoke again._

_"How could you be so--"_

_Ashley's eyes opened and she stared at Taren,her eyes cold, but a smile on her pale face"--Irresponsible?"_

Taren gasped and sat up in a cold sweat. She looked around her room. It was dark. Her clock read 2:54. She took a deep breath. Great.Now she was having nightmares. She wanted to climb out the window, and run to JT.She wanted him to hold her, tell her things would be fine, she'd be ok. To comfort her. To kiss her. She shivered at the thought of kissing him. But she'd only known him for a week. She sighed and got underneath her covers. She couldn't fall asleep again. She stared at the ceiling.

_Taren woke up again. Ashley was giggling."You fell asleep?"_

_"I fainted!" Taren laughed. She turned the wheel as far as it would go. The car made a 90 degree turn to the left. She laughed and did it again, this time to the right. They went across the bridge,and Taren swerved again to the left._

_"Do it again! This is fun!"_

_She swerved again. Her and Ashley broke into hysterical laughter as Taren swerved sharply again. She turned sharply one more time. And screamed. Her car was headed for the lake. There was a railing to keep people from going over, pecause there was a 10 ft cliff that led to the lake. Ashley shreiked as the car hit the iron rail. She jolted forward in her seat at the force of the collision, but pushed herself back. The car wasn't stopping. It had broken through the railing, and wasfalling towards the lake. Taren and Ashley screamed in pure terror. _

_"No! STOP!" Ashley yelled to the car. It plunged, front first into the lake. Ashley jolted forward again, and her head hit the dashboard. She was unconcious. The window, which had cracked, let in water as the car sunk towards the bottom. Taren gasped,and screamed again. She tried to undo her seatbelt, but her hands were trembling violently. The water was up to their laps. She kept working her seatbelt,and finally, she managed to open it. The water had slowly risen to their necks. She looked at Ashley. _

_"Ashley!" she gasped. She took a deep breath and ducked under the water,feeling around for Ashley's seat belt buckle. The water was so dark. She couldn't find it. She groped around in the darkness,and found Ashley's hand. She lifted her head to get some air. There was only a small space between the top of the car, and the surface of the flooding water. She took another breath from what she could and ducked back under. She had to go fast. Ashley' s head wasn't above the water. She found Ashley's lap, and trailed up to where the belt buckle was. She quickly undid it, and tried to pull Ashley out. She felt arms around her shoulders. It pulled her out of the car so quickly, she lost her grip on Ashley's arm. She waved her arms frantically trying to get the person off of her. She had to get Ashley. But the person had a strong grip. She couldn't see a thing in the murky water, but felt herself being pulled up. Her lugs were burning,screaming for air. But she had to get Ashley. She struggled, but finally got the person off of her. She tried to swim back to the car, but she needed to breathe. The had returned to her shoulder,and she let it pull her up. Finally, she gasped, choking on the water. Then,she heard a splash. She was above the surface again. She breathed deeply. She saw that the person holding her was a police with scuba equipment. He pulled her up the cliff, where a team of paramedics grabbed her and wrapped her in a towel. She cried. She couldn't help it. Finally, she got the words out. _

_"ASHLEY!" she screamed. She grabbed the officer by the shoulders. "ASHLEY IS STILL DOWN THERE!GET HER!HELP HER!PLEASE!QUICK!" She ran towards the cliff again,about to jump over, but tow of the paramedics grabgbed her and dragged her back to the ambulance. The officer followed. "There's another officer down there, getting your friend."_

_That didn't comfort her. She cried even harder. She was giving herself the worst headache. She needed Ashley to be ok. She HAD to be. "Pease, God, let Ashely be okay.Please..."_

_She cried. The paramedics ran past her. The officer had gotten Ashley. She could see her bright pink sneakers past the paramedics white uniforms. They were calling things out frantically. She cried harder, feeling lightheaded. People were running around getting things from the ambulance to help Ashley. She sobbed. It was her fault. Her fault the car had crashed. Her fault that she'd been driving in her condition. Her fault for whatever happened to Ashley. Her sight was getting blurred. She saw them put Ashley onsomething white, a stretcher.She sobbed harder, her vision now a blur of colors. She was really lightheaded. She couldn't feel anything. All she could see was the white blob where Ashley was. The voices became incoherent. Then everything blacked out._

_She woke up to see a paramedic woman holding a heating pack on her head. She smiled at Taren. She moaned. Her head pounded. She could feel that they were moving. The sirens were on. She was in the back of the ambulance. She blinked as her blurred vision slowly pulled back to normal. She slowly turned her head to the stretcher Ashley was on. It was covered with a white sheet. She gasped. _

_"No! Ashley's ok, right."_

_The paramedic smiled at her weakly,"I'm so sorry."_

_Taren gasped._

_"She...she was dead when we pulled her out. She was under the water too long, and the cut on her head had let loose too much blood."_

_Taren wanted to cry. To scream. But she was all out of emotions. She looked back up at the ceiling and blacked out again._

Taren sat up. She had fallen asleep. It was7:30. She had 30 minutes to get to school. She sighed, and got out of bed.

_I'm so sorry, Ashley. I'm so so sorry._


End file.
